Flesh

•November 9, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Foreword: I wrote this piece for my 543 teaching writing comp class. It started off as a free write in the beginning of class. On a completely different note, someone told me that they thought my away messages were interesting to read. Thanks? I thought about this before, but I’ll state it again for those not lucky enough to be exposed to it. James Joyce had this idea of radiant fragments, like really short yet brilliant fragments with the power of poetry even if it was in prose. Away messages are kind of like that aren’t they – short messages that might be super saturated with power. Or just something stupid like “I’m taking a nap call me to wake me up plzzz.” Well, either way, here’s my piece for 543.

The air was crisp and sterile, but the smell of blood floated in the air. The fluorescent lights lined up in rows on the ceiling, standing at attention in nice tidy rows. The cold air was tinted blue though it should have been red – or perhaps it was red when it should have been blue. Calm breaths burst into the air and dissipated into nothing as huge slabs of meat latched themselves onto hooks or tore themselves free. Cotton-gloves wrapped snuggly in latex stroked the apron leaving faint smears of red.

The ragged edge of the saw hewed meat in between the ribs in perfect 4/4 time. The light fell precariously – or systematically – on the gleaming metal and the red flesh with a similar ambiance. A hundred jagged hooks dangled from the ceiling as if fishing for something. Cleavers hung from some of the hooks; other cleavers sliced the meat into neat and tidy packages.

Out front, the sun shone with a warm yellow glow. Streams of light flowed vibrantly through the broad windows and made an exaggerated shadow on the floor in a jocund font: “Delicatessen.”

“Butterfly cut lamb loin. And give me the scrag too.”

“2.43 lbs. $17.34.”

Meat passed from hands into plastic sheets and through the vacuum sealer. Plastic-wrapped meat passed from latex hands to hard metal counter. Plastic cards peeked out of factory-processed genuine leather in the warm yellow light. Only one escaped, sprinting across the reflective plains into the rigid arms of its lover, spraying numbers and rubber and bar codes and liquid crystal across the LCD screens.

“5 cuts of top sirloin steak.”

“6.82 lbs. $43.98.”

“Half a pound of pork loin.”

“All out.”

“Fine. Rib roast. Small end. Half a pound.”

“.5 lbs. $8.98.”

The sky darkened. Digits, shackled to other digits, were flung into ledgers; amounts escaped to banks; and arms reached out to all of the numbers before finally resting at 8. The “delicatessen” on the checkerboard tile floor heaved up, slowly deflated and died. The glowing neon “open” in the bottom left corner of the window flickered in mourning and followed its mate to the grave. The lights stood at dutiful attention and paid their respects to the two deceased words.

Money flew to the backroom onto a clean metal table where meat once lay. Numbers partnered up and appeared on screens for their moment of fame before being hastily forgotten. Money stowed itself away to rest in a metal fortress of inch thick sterile metal, protected by a revolving guard of black and white numbers. Doors closed themselves and green lights were converted by the plastic spirit into red – guarding their hearts against the evil ones. The vigilant lights were honorably discharged and dimmed in peace.

Headlights blinked awake and engines rumbled a soft purr of satisfaction. After a series of quick stretches and warming up, the car raced off at full sprint. Cars and trucks played games in the chthonic streets – tag, follow the leader, hide and seek.

A sudden reveille at 10 p.m. called the lights back to arms. They stood at attention to watch and protect the playing cars.

Hope

•October 26, 2009 • 4 Comments

Foreword: I’ve been reading and re-reading T.S. Eliot’s The Waste Land for a paper I have to write. He writes a whole bunch of crazy talk with invisible threads holding it all together. It sounds like crazy folks like this. Mad insane. Of course, this doesn’t have nearly the depth and interconnectivity as Eliot’s work – this is more of a 5 minute craziness poem spiel.

‘Strain and strain and strain

That this is true and truly’

Why follow why falter why flit and flow?

‘And I will not be caught – thieving bandit .

I will and you will not and I will change and make and you will not!’

Ungracious and gregarious. Fallacious and nefarious.

‘Passive passive’

That is us. That is us.

Pensive, passive.

‘Work for this. that. receive this. to be perfect. this that. to deserve that. ‘

It is a gift. Or a rift? No, a gift. It is a gift. Who?

Mantra

•October 3, 2009 • 1 Comment

I praise Him even when I am dead inside.

I give thanks to Him as I tread the barren desert.

I will bless His holy name, even with my shattered jaw.

I will know He is good, though I may feel otherwise.

Waiting

•September 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

It is standing on the edge of a vertical cliff,

looking down,

and down,

and down, but only seeing a curtain of mist.

It is found in the endless testing that we subject ourselves to:

dropping rocks, yet hearing no impact or splash.

It floats in the chill air with the taste of mountains lingering on it,

with the smell of rich fog pervading it.

It manifests itself in the quickening beat that compels a jump of despair

or a leap of faith.

So at last, I make to walk into the mist.

But I crouch down instead and sit for a moment,

not out of restraint or fear, for we cannot die by leaping.

I sit because there is no rush – the cliff will not fill itself or shrink -

so I start to slowly climb down, one steady foothold at a time.

How to Properly Dispose of Ashes

•August 7, 2009 • 2 Comments

Foreword: I actually wrote this a while ago, something like a month ago. I was really stressed out and angry about something at the time, but I can’t quite recall exactly what it was… It’s a satirical piece. I also wrote the following short paragraph as a sort of rant that led me to write the piece in the first place (I’m not sure what to exactly call it except a “piece” – maybe “essay” ?). Sorry, it’s a bit angsty, angry, and cynical… enjoy?

It’s a pent up frustration inside of you. It’s the loneliness that happens only in crowds. When you’re surrounded by people and your ears are full of sweet words, but its only after the fact that you realize that it was just noise deafening you. It’s only then that you notice how alone you are – how disconnected from those a foot away from you – how everyone can look at you and see whatever they want, so long as it’s not the real you. And we burn that frustration up, don’t we? We burn whatever we can get our hands on just so we know that it’s flammable. We love to see the flame curl everything around its little finger because it reminds us of how tender it is. How easily we’re fooled into believing whatever we want to believe.

How to Properly Dispose of Ashes

A year ago, I had a common (you may say, the most common) predicament: a lot of ashes, just lying around. Ashes are one of those semi-threatening elements – something in between thoughtlessly throwing it away and worrying that it’ll simultaneously combust in your garbage, for this is a valid concern. The following are a couple tried and true methods of proper disposal.

The first method I suggest is to flush it away. This is of course the method-of-choice for all the smokers who just can’t get through an entire day of high school without a few addictive puffs. The theory is simple: flush away everything. All your ashes, embers, cinders, and even blazing fires. There’s nothing too big to fit in a toilet. Should you feel qualms about this method, just picture all the human piss and feces that we flush every day – same idea. This is one of the most time effective methods, just flush all your problems away! Now some may be concerned that they have a septic tank instead of government sewage, but it doesn’t matter. If you have government sewage, well, it immediately becomes their problem once you pull that little silver knob. If you have a septic tank, it won’t become a problem until further down the line when it’s time to clean it, so once again, no worries.

The second method is a bit more taxing on your personal energy, but effective nonetheless. Simply bury all your ashes in a hole. Depending on how many ashes you carry, dig a pit wide enough to fit the ashes and about six feet of good solid earth. This way, you put as much distance between yourself and your ashes as possible. The main goal is to avoid ever seeing the ashes again; six feet deep in the crust of the earth, hopefully mother nature will do its job and reassimilate those ashes of yours back into something useful, like a football. Six feet may seem extreme to the weak of heart, but it’s far better to err on the side of safety than on the side of laziness: no one likes to see ashes dig themselves out of the pit to haunt them a second time.

A third method is most often used on cremation ashes in particular, but works with any kind really. Throwing ashes into the sea is an effective way to be rid of the problem. You may attempt to throw a fistful of ashes while still on the beach, but beaches are commonly a windy place and may have the audacity to hit you in the face, making your eyes sting and tear up again. The best way to dispose of ashes in the sea is to take a boat (of any kind, it could be a cruise ship and still get the job done) and simply dump the ashes over the side. Here in the ocean, it will mingle with other major problems like pollution and sharks. If you are disposing of cremated remains, you may wish to be one step more respectful, but aren’t all ashes the remains of something significant?

A fourth and somewhat controversial method is to burn the ashes. Now you may be wondering, “how does one burn the remains of burning something?” This is a valid question. Simply light the ash material again, excessive lighter fluid is recommended. Eventually nothing will remain except for the sweet smell of gasoline and the satisfied smile on your face.

For all of these disposal methods, there will always be fire and smoke that are predicated simply by the existence of the ash problem. For these issues, more detailed instructions are available, but fire should burn hard and strong while it can because we both know that afterward will remain a dirty pile of smoldering ash. Smoke should be handled with great caution, for it will somehow manage to blow into your face and make your eyes cry (it always manages to blow wherever you stand). Also beware of smoke detectors, they will go off as soon as you start crying; to avoid both these issues, turn on a fan to circulate the air and to keep your attention away from the fires.

These easy-to-follow instructions should make dealing with ashes (and by extension, fires and smoke) little to no problem at all. I hope these simple methods of disposal help you get rid of all your problems and uncomplicates the mess that is life, I know they have for me!